I never left.

I stayed

When all seemed lost

when you held the gun to your mouth

when i lost our child

I stayed

When you lost you father

and i lost you

when i never thought i would be happy again

when i lost everything but you

when i said goodbye to family

and to my hopes and dreams

focusing instead on yours

I have not left

I am still here

just a drunken version of myself

Everything you do is right

I am the wrong

tell me what is this fight

and where do i belong?

I used to think with you

Until it went to shit

The family will get you back

a day that should be ours was shared

and I feel nothing but sorrow

for I love you more than life

I recount in my head

the day you first called me wife

But those days are gone

I guess now I shall be alone

For there is nothing here to fight for

no reason left to moan


5 thoughts on “I never left.

  1. all i can say is the tear will dilute the red
    the pain shell drive me to goodbye
    there is 20 min still in this years end
    shell i grab the knife i cut what is left of me

    cuz i don’t want to go like this
    but if that is what you planed
    i will go bleed like it is piss
    for i am nothing but dammed


  2. Oh Natalie reading your poem brought back memories of my last 2 marriages that left me widowed…I have never been able to put my thoughts into words even tho’ I am a poet!!! Your poem speaks to me on all levels…I could feel Paul & Kevin…..thank you for sharing such a beautiful & haunting poem. Sherri-Ellen.


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