Note: I had originally planned on writing about the state of womens rights in the USA right now, as discussed, with my new blogging friend Julie ( You can visit her blog here), in the comments of last Fridays post, however, it was just too much of a post and I got too impassioned to properly make sense in the post.. it will follow shortly, when I am able to properly edit and do the subject justice.
I have a pretty cool dad.
He never thought I couldn’t do something because I was a girl, I was always encouraged and made aware of my worth and how capable I am. I think he was made to be the father of a daughter, Him and sons would have been a big ol’ explosive mess( I speak from me and him often being a big ol’ explosive mess)
I wasn’t a girly girl when I was a teenager but sometimes I wore my short denim skirt my ripped up fishnets and a top that accentuated the girls, I walked past him looking this way, got into his car looking this way and he drove me to various gigs looking this way.
I didn’t get a lecture because I didn’t need one I had been raised with a sense of right or wrong, didn’t smoke and although I liked beer, Pepsi was generally cheaper and I liked that more. Most importantly I was raised to trust my own judgement and I had ample self-respect/confidence.
I had a hand me down phone, with £5 credit, my dad, grandma and mums numbers in my last three calls and twenty quid in the hidden pocket of my jacket( just HAD to get a shirt Everytime)
“Hope you have a good time, ring me if you need anything or are going to be late”
Not”ignore the boys”,
Not “make sure you don’t get yourself raped”
Not “don’t act like a slut tonight”
Not “don’t be a tease”
Just a dad saying “have fun”, “call me” and ” I’ll be here when you get back.”
He was raised that you do nothing to girls, don’t hit them, don’t do anything that makes them uncomfortable don’t do anything to a girl you wouldn’t want someone to do to your sister or mum.
I used to think it was sexist nonsense, the feminist in me telling him “I don’t need a boy to defend me, I can defend myself”
It’s true I could, but I am beginning to think that mindset was a better one for boys to be raised with than
“She was asking for it”
or “every ‘No’ can become a ‘Yes’ “
I know had I come home and told him I was raped/drugged etc, his reaction ( in no specific order) would be:-
1)Call the police
2)”I will kill THEM”
3)”Are you going to be ok Natalie?”
I truly don’t believe I would ever be blamed for something befalling me.
It’s sad that girls are taught to police themselves, that we have classes on how to behave in school, have to really take a self-defence class to feel safer, and taught how to spot if we have been drugged or not to leave our drinks unattended.
How about we teach “don’t drug unattended drinks” or ” be polite, don’t be an asshole” or ” Consent is everything” regardless of your gender?
Why aren’t men taught that women are equal, ‘No’ means ‘No’ and rape is NEVER ok?
I think I would rather all men were like my Dad, my Husband, Grandpa and Godfather.
Women aren’t inherently weak but we should treat them well and defend them in their toughest times and blame and properly charge the perpetrator, not the victim.
If it takes raising men, in a way the young feminist Natalie considered kinda sexist, might it not be worth it for women in the long run?