A Question About Life With Endometriosis


In this journey of being honest about my struggles and my life with endometriosis, people often ask :

“How do you manage to cook and make smoothies whilst having Endo? I really struggle!

The truth is I DON’T manage. Social media only shows you the times I succeeded in getting out of bed and preparing food.

It doesn’t show you all the times all I ate was a cup of instant noodles, dry toast and maybe if I was lucky an apple

Doesn’t show all the times I ordered in because I couldn’t stand up.

Doesn’t show all the times I drank Pepsi by the litre and ate oreos by the box as I cried to myself on my sofa

Doesn’t show how full my freezer is of pre-prepared meals, from days I actually have energy, because sometimes I bleed so heavily whilst preparing food I have blood running down my legs.

Doesn’t show all the times I have tried and failed, all the times I just couldn’t no matter how much I wanted.

NEVER EVER feel like you are failing if you cant do it all!

Never ever feel like you should be living with this disease in any way different than what you are, you know what you can and cant do, only you live in your body.

We are all struggling. Its ok, its all going to be ok, somehow.

Stay strong fellow #endowarriors, I’m here with you in solidarity.


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Friday Feminist Ramble: Three

What the hell can I possibly say?
What is there left that hasn’t been said before, what of our struggles are somehow different than they were 100 years ago?
Yes, we may be allowed to vote, but that certainly doesn’t mean we are being represented. I am perhaps more represented as a white, hetero girl.
But black girls, latina, transwomen, most members of the LGBTQ community? All Governors worry about is where they wanna pee, or what country they arbitrarily were expelled from a birth canal in.
Whilst rights get slashed, whilst our elderly have their meals taken away from them, whilst women and the poor have their healthcare removed, whilst they sit with your tax dollars covering their care.

What else is there to say?
The world is in a sad state.
I always prided myself on being British, not in a nationalistic sense, but what our “values” had always represented of the fact my state was a “welfare” state, that Medical was paid, that nursing homes were paid, that being without a job didn’t mean you are without a meal, that being ill didn’t mean your life felt meaningless, now it is the world in which a private business can sue the NHS for losing a contract.

It would be easy for me to blame Trump for everything wrong in the world, hell he has been responsible for  SO FUCKING MUCH, but it is a sickness that is spreading around the world.
Europe used to feel safe and a bastion for acceptance and goodwill, but with separatists getting more emboldened and Brexit and the uncertainty, even here things are starting to feel lost. At least as a Brit.

I am aghast, but I am not defeated.

I shall continue to write, eventually I hope, with fresh words, that have more meaning, I will continue to be opinionated and loud and “Brash” I will always #resist,  I will always march. I will always be for all women everywhere, I will always be feminist, I will always be egalitarian and I will always be a socialist Liberal girl. I will always want what is fair.

Perhaps this isn’t a rant, more a” Friday Feminist Introspection” but alas, I am but human.

This is all I can really say on Trump et el at this point, just be strong, I am here, I will be loud, I am an ally.

Reach out wherever you can, I promise I shall respond.

Much Love,


Friday Feminist Rambling: Two.

Note: I had originally planned on writing about the state of womens rights in the USA right now, as discussed, with my new blogging friend Julie ( You can visit her blog here), in the comments of last Fridays post, however, it was just too much of a post and I got too impassioned to properly make sense in the post.. it will follow shortly, when I am able to properly edit and do the subject justice.

I have a pretty cool dad.

He never thought I couldn’t do something because I was a girl, I was always encouraged and made aware of my worth and how capable I am. I think he was made to be the father of a daughter, Him and sons would have been a big ol’ explosive mess( I speak from me and him often being a big ol’ explosive mess)

I wasn’t a girly girl when I was a teenager but sometimes I wore my short denim skirt my ripped up fishnets and a top that accentuated the girls, I walked past him looking this way, got into his car looking this way and he drove me to various gigs looking this way.

I didn’t get a lecture because I didn’t need one I had been raised with a sense of right or wrong, didn’t smoke and although I liked beer, Pepsi was generally cheaper and I liked that more. Most importantly I was raised to trust my own judgement and I had ample self-respect/confidence.

I had a hand me down phone, with £5 credit, my dad, grandma and mums numbers in my last three calls and twenty quid in the hidden pocket of my jacket( just HAD to get a shirt Everytime)

“Hope you have a good time, ring me if you need anything or are going to be late”

Not”ignore the boys”,
Not “make sure you don’t get yourself raped”
Not “don’t act like a slut tonight”
Not “don’t be a tease”

Just a dad saying “have fun”, “call me” and ” I’ll be here when you get back.”

He was raised that you do nothing to girls, don’t hit them, don’t do anything that makes them uncomfortable don’t do anything to a girl you wouldn’t want someone to do to your sister or mum.

I used to think it was sexist nonsense, the feminist in me telling him “I don’t need a boy to defend me, I can defend myself”

It’s true I could, but I am beginning to think that mindset was a better  one for boys to be raised with than
“She was asking for it”
or “every ‘No’ can become a ‘Yes’ “

I know had I come home and told him I was raped/drugged etc, his reaction ( in no specific order) would be:-
1)Call the police
2)”I will kill THEM”
3)”Are you going to be ok Natalie?”

I truly don’t believe I would ever be blamed for something befalling me.

It’s sad that girls are taught to police themselves, that we have classes on how to behave in school, have to really take a self-defence class  to feel safer, and taught how to spot if we have been drugged or not to leave our drinks unattended.

How about we teach “don’t drug unattended drinks” or ” be polite, don’t be an asshole” or ” Consent is everything” regardless of your gender?

Why aren’t men taught that women are equal, ‘No’ means ‘No’ and rape is NEVER ok?

I think I would rather all men were like my Dad, my Husband, Grandpa and Godfather.

Women aren’t inherently weak but we should treat them well and defend them in their toughest times and blame and properly charge the perpetrator, not the victim.

If it takes raising men, in a way the young feminist Natalie considered kinda sexist, might it not be worth it for women in the long run?


Friday Feminist Rambling, A New Tradition.

I love being a girl, I can’t imagine having to be a boy that seems like its own minefield of unfair societal expectations, I was raised by strong women, who defined their own version of being feminine.

I have however come up against men and unfortunately other women who think that because I have pink pens and girl stationary and wear facemasks and mess up the apartment with my “girly shit” that I am lesser, less intelligent, less professional, less worthy, but more controllable, more ‘put-down’-ible more predictable.

Well fuck you, me and my girly shit will go right on and build ourselves a strong independent life.

I will write our story your story any story with my pink polka dot pen in my darth vader notebook and with my chocolate face mask on and there is not a goddamn thing I would change or you can change or shall change.

I can be anything and anyone I want to be. I am capable strong and autonomous, as I don’t try to control and judge you keep that shit to yourself.

I will create my brujah character sheet add a die to my thousand strong collection each time I see one that I like, fire-mage the shit out some fel-ly ‘Legion’ wanker and then watch a rom-com and cuddle my cat and moan at a screen about how “ he isn’t worth it girl, you don’t need no man you need to love yourself”

Girls, I am true to myself, I wear makeup and sometimes I don’t, I am pale as hell, kinda gross, I eat lots of veggies and make lots of toots, I love to pamper myself, pumice my feet right on my couch, buy entirely too many lotions and eyeshadow I won’t ever use,  I love to game, love to write, love to be given flowers, love to have teddy bears, love to go on romantic picnics and be all giggly and oh lord can i be hella hormonal and cry over random shit.

But I am all of these things and I am a girl, I am so much, I can be so much I can do anything and everything, never ever ever let anyone tell ya you can’t be, never let anyone try to define who you are, blame you for the actions of others,shame you for a piece of clothing, ask why what happened to you happened to you and why you didn’t stop it.

You are damn fierce, #beingagirlrocks