On Professionalism and Portugal

I struggle often.

I think everyone does, it is human.

But often I am made to feel that I am just weak and making excuses and you know what, sometimes, maybe I am.

But most often I am not, I push beyond what is my limit on a daily basis and yes my limit is perhaps smaller than yours,
but so what?

Am I less human for that? Am I less an adult?
I struggle with pain management and hormonal imbalance. Some days I am just in a mood and I don’t wanna be but my stupid brain has gone through the washing machine backwards and come out all crinkled and hormonal and bleh. Plus I have my house, cat husband and extended family to think of as well as developing my business and creative endeavours.

Yet, I always strive to remain professional and to remain polite… and it is taxing, because so few people offer me the same courtesy, especially in Portugal.

Professional conduct here I have found to be anything but, there is an unspoken rule if they say it will take 15 minutes, expect to wait 30 if they say it will take 7 days expect it no earlier than 10.

That is an incredibly annoying way to live life, either admit to me you are not going to be able to meet our deadline or give me the 10 day deadline rather than the 7 day one from the start be blunt, don’t play nice and give me the shit eating grin and expect me to smile right back as the shit hits the fan, ’cause that way all that happens is I get shit between my teeth and no deadline met either.

Can you guys just… be professional.
If you wish to be the new tech capital of Europe, if you have set up a “ task force” to poach businesses away from the UK after Brexit, get your shit together, because this isn’t going to fly with lots of companies, especially those from outside of Europe.

I expect professionalism both in tone, performance and general etiquette, as do lots of other people, do not look at me like I am the crazy one and need to relax, look to yourselves, you are the odd ones out. A lackadasical approach doesn’t cut it to the wider world.

In this country, more adults feel a fulfilling career is the deciding factor in a happy life, but lots of people report not being happy.

Perhaps if you became more efficient, took pride in even the most menial job, (Yes you may be assembling a burger in Mcdonalds, but you are feeding a person who is hungry, you are paying taxes and you have a job, you’re better off that at least  30% of the population) and didn’t have to spend hours after work fixing miscommunications and departmental cock-ups everyone would in general just feel better and feel their work life balance exists and their time is well spent.

Apologies for the rant, its been one of those days.


Mini Musings: Wednesday Edition on Thursday

I got caught up in International Women’s Day.
I tried to avoid the anti-female rhetoric a great number of men posting on social media and talking in the streets of this country care to engage in.
Tried to focus on my female positive and feminist husband
and the cider he brought home for me to share with him along with a bunch of flowers and my favourite coffee,
In a show of solidarity with me on this day when men take great pride in attacking.
More simply just a man bringing his wife flowers to make her smile.

I deliberately held back posting this until the day here had officially passed.

To those men:

“Feliz Dia da Costela do Homem*”( Happy day of the rib of man)
Is disgusting
It doesn’t make you a “Homem Tradicional”( Traditional Man)
It makes you a dinosaur
a pig
a disgrace.
To a specific man, I know
You have a daughter,
Grow up.

To all my sisters around the world

*Reference to the biblical story of Eve being made from Adam’s rib

Friday Feminist Rambling, A New Tradition.

I love being a girl, I can’t imagine having to be a boy that seems like its own minefield of unfair societal expectations, I was raised by strong women, who defined their own version of being feminine.

I have however come up against men and unfortunately other women who think that because I have pink pens and girl stationary and wear facemasks and mess up the apartment with my “girly shit” that I am lesser, less intelligent, less professional, less worthy, but more controllable, more ‘put-down’-ible more predictable.

Well fuck you, me and my girly shit will go right on and build ourselves a strong independent life.

I will write our story your story any story with my pink polka dot pen in my darth vader notebook and with my chocolate face mask on and there is not a goddamn thing I would change or you can change or shall change.

I can be anything and anyone I want to be. I am capable strong and autonomous, as I don’t try to control and judge you keep that shit to yourself.

I will create my brujah character sheet add a die to my thousand strong collection each time I see one that I like, fire-mage the shit out some fel-ly ‘Legion’ wanker and then watch a rom-com and cuddle my cat and moan at a screen about how “ he isn’t worth it girl, you don’t need no man you need to love yourself”

Girls, I am true to myself, I wear makeup and sometimes I don’t, I am pale as hell, kinda gross, I eat lots of veggies and make lots of toots, I love to pamper myself, pumice my feet right on my couch, buy entirely too many lotions and eyeshadow I won’t ever use,  I love to game, love to write, love to be given flowers, love to have teddy bears, love to go on romantic picnics and be all giggly and oh lord can i be hella hormonal and cry over random shit.

But I am all of these things and I am a girl, I am so much, I can be so much I can do anything and everything, never ever ever let anyone tell ya you can’t be, never let anyone try to define who you are, blame you for the actions of others,shame you for a piece of clothing, ask why what happened to you happened to you and why you didn’t stop it.

You are damn fierce, #beingagirlrocks

Musings on Late Night Car Alarms

Have you ever noticed that suddenly hearing a car alarm (in Portugal at least) means your neighbourhood is changing?

It means there is now a need to have alarms when previously there wasn’t. A car alarm constantly went off last night and it occurred to me it’s the first car alarm I have heard in three years but we are starting to have more and more conversations in the neighbourhood coffee shop about this break in or that break in.

It’s sad.My neighbourhood is being eaten by crime and bad behaviour and I can’t stop it.

I try to model the behaviour of love and acceptance but it doesn’t seem to matter, I can attend the council meetings, write or call the câmera municipal. People still attempt to break my window if I have it open, still, attempt to force my front door, try being buzzed into the building under false pretences still try to harm my cat who is innocently sitting by the aforementioned window.

I think we have to move because the moment one person breaks the boundary into my haven I know I will become one of the criminals too and I don’t want to be that person.